How I Got Here: A Story of Manifestation

This is one story of how I let life teach me how to choose happiness!

As a kid I was often left to my own devices while my mother was busy dealing with my five older siblings. Freedom! Good! But also a little dangerous for a young girl to run around unsupervised. There was some trouble: molestation, exposure to drugs and alcohol way too early, injuries and accidents, and getting beaten up by school bullies. But I was a tough kid and sort of skated past all of that.

In my teens I found God, where a lot of people do, in church. I spent a lot of my time in church and even pledged my life to missionary service when I was just thirteen. I loved the Minister of Youth and Music and his sweet, beautiful wife and all my friends in our youth group and choir. We were learning about unconditional love and service and I felt safe and secure in this bubble. An unfortunate series of events resulted in new leadership and different messages. I became convinced that not only could I not live up to the standards required to be loved and accepted by god, I didn’t want to. My connection to spirit broke. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was to spend the next 4 decades trying to get it back.

I had courage and confidence from the unconditional love of my family so I went out and made life happen on my own terms and the bouncing around began.

At last count I’ve had thirty-seven jobs and moved twenty-one times. There were about sixteen relationships, including one marriage and divorce, not counting one night stands. I stopped screwing around and finally finished college; I created careers and tanked them. I did some traveling, saw some things, and had a lot of fun. Yet I was always chasing happiness, never realizing that no matter where I went, I was taking my restless spirit and seeking heart with me.

I did ok and was often the one my family came to for financial help. In my sales career, I learned visualization, and all kinds of mindset tools. studied positive psychology, the Law of Attraction, spirituality, and the power of the mind over matter. I thought I was a really good little manifester, getting things done, taking care of everybody else, full of ego and pride. So I earned and I gave. I succeeded and I fell down. I always got back up, started over, and always landed on my feet…until the day I didn’t.

In 2007 I had an accidental pregnancy, and heart-breaking miscarriage. That was the beginning of my biggest downward spiral. I lost my cushy, high-paying job and decided to sell everything and run away. I spent about six months in Guatemala and traveling a bit in Europe before the call of family brought me back to the States in late 2008 and continued making poor and ill-informed choices. Despite the tanked economy, I bought a one-third interest in my favorite day spa, with no research, no service industry experience, no training or licensing to allow me to “work” in my own business. By 2010, I was bankrupt, jobless, and homeless, camped out in my sister’s spare room. By temping at the local radio and TV stations, housesitting, and taking other odd jobs I had just enough money to keep me in wine and cigarettes. This was my lowest point, I thought.

My brother died; my mom had to be moved to a state-run nursing home because no one had the money to pay for a better place. I was exhausted; financially, emotionally, and physically, with nothing to show for it. For all of my efforts, I had helped no one, including myself. Had my sister been able to support me, I could have easily lived out the rest of my life just like that: aimless, purposeless, numbed by alcohol and casual sex, neither knowing nor caring what came next. Bus=t she couldn’t. My apathy didn’t extend to being on-the-streets homeless, so I dug deep for the will to once again find some purpose and joy in life.

From this humble place, I realized that I wasn’t anyone’s hero, nor was I meant to be.

Everyone has their own path and the same access to the Universe as I do;

it wasn’t my job to take care of them. I handed all my loved ones over to the Universe, put my blinders on, and began re-creating my life.

I can’t pinpoint a single moment when I re-connected with the universe, my highest self, spirit…. the force that moves in everything. It was and is a process, but little by little I began feeling again that unconditional love and support. It’s interesting that I studied with spiritual teachers like Abraham Hicks and Dr. Wayne Dyer, but I sort of ignored the spiritual parts and just focused on the “energy” parts. Regardless, I had acquired a ton of life skills. So I pulled them all out and from the simplest of places began to rebuild my life.

I didn’t envision mansions and millions of dollars, fame and fortune. I created a simple dream. I wanted work that came easy to me and gave me the freedom to create my own schedule and not cap my income. I wanted a little piece of land and a small house that was very isolated. I wanted to have the freedom to have doors and windows open all the time and for my dog and cats and me to be free and safe. I wanted a place in which I could hunker down and heal and create, in solitude, serenity, silence, and peace.

Once I got clear on what I wanted and planted the vision of how that would feel in my mind, things started to happen very quickly. With one phone call, I secured the position that matched my vision perfectly. Independent, free and with no cap on my income potential.

Next, I found a tiny basement apartment that I could afford near an area in beautiful East Tennessee, where I wanted to live. I did my work and took my dog on lots of hikes, exploring the area and looking at every property that matched my dream. I also started searching for a bank that would finance me despite a brand-new bankruptcy. Most importantly, I kept my eyes on the dream and my heart in the most grateful place I could find. I made lists of positive aspects of the tiny little apartment that was my home. I praised my healthy body and my sweet pets, and my friends. Every day, I DECIDED that I would be in love with my life and that I would be excited, expectant, and have total faith that my dream home was coming, very soon.

I finally let life teach me that happiness is something you choose, create, and generate. I learned that when I was focused on the neighbor’s loud music or my freezing apartment, I felt crappy. But when I focused on the little screened-in porch with the view of the lake, or pizza delivery, or the beauty all around me, I was happy. No amount of learning and studying could measure up to what I proved to myself. You can be happy anywhere, in any situation. It just depends on where you put your attention.

One year later, I found the perfect place nestled in the mountains on five acres. It was a fairy cottage on the outside and a log cabin on the inside, with an open floor plan, high vaulted ceiling, and a sweet little loft bedroom. There were no neighbors to speak of, and it was completely safe, silent, serene, and lovely. It was exactly what I had envisioned. I still couldn’t obtain financing, but the owner agreed to rent it to me until my bankruptcy aged one more year. And that’s exactly what happened. The following year I was the owner of my dream home. I built a series of decks outside where I worked and played with my dog and cats. Long lovely hikes and picnics at lunch on my very own mountain became my reality. I was thriving!

It was there, sitting at my sweet little patio table with my dog at my feet, completely in love with my life, that I realized that THIS is my purpose! I wanted to teach other women how to achieve this kind of happiness and spare them the ups and downs and spectacular failures of my own journey. I dubbed myself a “Happiness Coach” (I thought I made up that term!) and Be Happy First was born!

My spiritual journey is another story, but the summary is, I somehow got back in touch with the true nature of spirit, perfectly loving, perfectly non-judgmental. I’ve learned that I need do nothing in order to be worthy and precious and loved. All of this spiritual growth goes into my work and life just gets better and better every day.

My dream and vision continue to grow and evolve and I LOVE watching the Universe deliver every single thing I want, every time I learn to get out of the way and allow.

I wrote part of a best-selling book and published one of my own. I attained a ton of training and certifications and continue to fall more and more in love with my life. No more self-sabotage. No more shame and starting over.

I am more in love with my mission every single day.

I love figuring out ways to get this message to the women who are really yearning for and ready for it. You are worthy! You are loved! Happiness and freedom are your birthright! It takes daily attention but you can learn how to choose happiness! Be Happy First and everything else will fall into place in perfect time.

2 Comments
  • Cindy Lybbert
    Posted at 00:26h, 28 January Reply

    Loved reading your story.
    You’re amazing and I am grateful for strong women like you who serve and bless the lives of others. God bless you.

    • laurengfoster
      Posted at 05:28h, 01 February Reply

      You too Cindy! So happy to know you!

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